Halloween Movie Plots Rewritten For Moms
The Conjuring: Child forgets he has a report due tomorrow so mom throws together a passing project.
The Exorcist: Three year old wakes up the middle of the night requesting juice in a blue sippy cup but mom has forgotten to go to the grocery store or run the dishwasher.
Friday the Thirteenth: The school district unknowingly set an in-service day on the same day of mom’s work meeting.
The Grudge: Tired of picking up after her husband, a mother’s resentments come to a head as she smothers him with a pillow in his sleep.
Hellraiser: Parents decide to go ahead and have that third kid.
It Follows: Mom makes it to the bathroom alone and sits on toilet only to discover a little hand waving under the door.
Jaws: A breastfeeding mother discovers her infant has grown teeth.
Pet Sematary: Child digging in backyard learns that Rover and Fluffy did not leave to go live on a farm.
Psycho: Mom forgot to take her Xanax again; hilarity ensues.
The Purge: While on a hunt for her daughter’s favorite stuffed animal, a mother steps on a lego. Enraged, she finally loses it and throws out every toy in the playroom.
The Ring: Mom finds out that dad went with cubic zirconia.
The Uninvited: Mom’s extended family shows up for Thanksgiving dinner.
28 Days Later: Uh-oh….moms on her period again!
I am mediocre mom!
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